Sunday, March 7, 2010

Where's the Bathroom?

I understand that this might qualify as Too Much Information, but we're all friends here, right?

I'm just curious....does everyone who drinks the recommended daily intake of water have to pee a bazillion times a day? I've never had a problem drinking water. I love the stuff. But I've upped my game and increased my water intake in honor of the new healthier lifestyle.

And, honestly, I haven't slept through the night since.

I tuck myself in to bed around 11:30pm each night. I spend about an hour reading and then I'm off to my peaceful slumber. But each and every night since I've made this deal with the Devil I find myself staggering out of my warm cocoon just so I can pee. I only get between six and seven hours of sleep a night. Each of those minutes are precious to me. And once I wake up I have a hard time getting back to sleep. So the stupid bathroom breaks are really irking me.

What's really disturbing is that I've actually tried to talk myself out of making the trek to the bathroom while still in bed. Out loud. I'm pretty sure there are men in white who will haul you away for that.

My eyes will open and I'll contemplate the urgency of the matter. It usually starts with an audible and sarcastic "really?" and then ends with a frustrated murmur of "this is just stupid.....just rediculous....dumb....stupid.....(muffled babbling).....ugh!"

And during the day is not much better. Thankfully I do the majority of my work from home. While the frequent trips to the bathroom are irritating, its not terribly inconvenient. But I do a lot of shuffling the kids around and I now need to know the location of the nearest bathroom every 30 minutes! And today I walked/jogged three miles - which wasn't a struggle endurance-wise, but I'm thinkin' one more mile and I might've had to fend off Fido at the next fire hydrant. Sheesh!

Of course this could have a little something to do with Karma. You see, I'm kind of like the Potty Nazi when it comes to road trips. My kids are real troupers and understand that all stops must be choreographed for optimum usage of time. Which means potty breaks happen during refueling of the car or the passengers. And never is there a stop JUST to pee. And they are good at this! I've trained them well. What worries me is that we have a small road trip next Wednesday about 3 1/2 hours up north. Usually this is a no-stop distance. But I'm afraid I will have to hang my head in shame as I pull off the road every 20 minutes. I fully understand that this will open me up for many frivolous pit-stops on road trips to come. My kids are also good at holding things over someone's head. Again, I taught them well.

So I'm hoping that my body will eventually get used to this water in/water out thing so I can get a decent night's sleep someday soon.

At this rate, I'll be running my 13.1 miles in a pair of Depends!


  1. I can't decide if I wake up in the middle of the night because I have to pee, or if I get up and pee simply because I woke and I figure I might as well.

    Either way, I rarely sleep through the night.

    Also, I think you would hate to go on road trips with me. For me, the trip to and home from the destination is part of the fun. I stop early and often. Which results in me getting behind and driving 95 mph late in the day, but I still stop whenever I want. ;-)

  2. I love how you ended this. :)

    When they told me I had some kidney issues and had to drink 3 liters of water a day, I way in hell, I have to drive, work, sleep, etc. but believe it or not, your body does get used to it and eventually you stop peeing every 5 min. I don't know if you can train your body to do this by Wed's road trip but hopefully by your marathon date!

    PS - Your comment on my blog tonight was HILARIOUS! I'm still laughing!

  3. Jay - I'd let you stop during our make-believe road trip :) I'm not that mean. Maybe I need shorter road trips. I'm always trying to cover some crazy distance in a day so maybe that is my problem with not stopping.

    Ily - Thanks for stopping by over here. I'm happy to hear there is a glimmer of hope for me on the "not peeing every five minutes" front. And that was a fun post you had...I'm glad I could ammuse with the dissmal state of my personal life :)

  4. I used to wake up every night about 4 times thinking that something was wrong with me since I had to pee so often. Then my StepMom was over and said "Do you get up to pee or do you pee because you are up?" I then started taking Kirkland's sleeping aid (basically an antihistimine) and since then I only get up once to pee. I'll take it!! :)

  5. Kelly - I know what you mean. i drink alot of water to. I get up once and sometimes two times a night to go. I also can't go back to sleep easy. I try not to have water after 8:00 some times that helps. As far as road trips you may be stopping. But look at it this way you are doing great. Keep up the good work.